The Onion: Obama Won.. Now What??
So you've spent the past 2 years wandering around mumbling "Obama" and annoying anyone who would listen to you rant about Barack and Hope. But now that he's won, life is empty..
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"Then Obama came back and called him a cock gobbler..." ONN: Disney Lab Unveils Its Latest Line Of Genetically Engineered Child Stars You've always wondered how they do it. Now you can see for yourself just how those crazy Disney scientists create those ever so annoying little pop sensations. ONN: Portrayal Of Obama As Elitist Hailed As Step Forward For African Americans "I never dreamed I'd see the day when an old white millionaire would be portrayed as having more in common with the working class than a black man." ONN: Hurricane Bound For Texas Slowed By Large Land Mass Thank god it missed Texas and made its way over that hook shaped area South of us. ONN: Californians Gather To Celebrate Annual Wildfire Tradition The yearly tradition where the rich white people come out of their burning McMansions long enough to see their shadows and make plans for rebuilding. Chinese Officials: Deadly Virus Sweeping China Is Just Olympic Fever I'm sure they'll find a way to blame this all on Michael Phelps and his "winning" of "gold medals." ONN: 'Cosmopolitan' Institute Completes Decades-Long Study On How To Please Your Man It's good to know that all those multiple choice quizzes have finally figured out the truth, man. The truth. The Beijing Olympics: Are They A Trap? They've been planning this for thousands of years.. Yes, it's a trap. ONN: Study Finds Young People Remain Apathetic About Office Politics These youth of today not realizing that their not getting involved has dire consequences.. in the break room. |

Was There Too Much Sex And Profanity In The HBO Presidential Debate?

















